The decision to return to college after several years away wasn’t an easy one. I wrestled with doubts, insecurities, and the overwhelming fear of being the “old” student in the room. When the first day finally arrived, I woke up early, my stomach in knots and my thoughts racing. What would the other students think of me? Would I manage to keep up after so much time away from academics?
Walking onto campus that morning felt surreal. The energy of the place was electric. Students hurried across the campus with backpacks slung over their shoulders. They laughed and chatted in groups. I felt completely out of place, like a ghost from a different era. Clutching my bag tightly, I tried to blend in, even though my nerves vibrated.
When I found my classroom, I hesitated before stepping inside. The room was buzzing with conversation, and most of the students looked so young. As I scanned the room for an empty seat, I could feel my face heating up. Finally, I slid into a desk near the back, hoping to go unnoticed.
The professor walked in and began the lecture, and I focused intently, determined to prove to myself that I belonged there. My pen scratched across the notebook as I jotted down notes, but my mind was still swirling with anxiety. Then something unexpected happened—one of my classmates turned to me during a break and struck up a conversation. She asked about my major and shared her own nervousness about the first day. That small interaction felt like a lifeline, reminding me that I wasn’t the only one feeling out of place.
By the time the class ended, I felt a glimmer of hope. Yes, it was terrifying, but I had survived. And I realized that everyone, regardless of their age or background, has their own struggles and fears.
Returning to college after so many years was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but it was also one of the most rewarding. That first day taught me that growth often begins where comfort ends.
Have you ever faced a moment where you felt completely out of your element? Maybe it was starting a new job, moving to a new place, or even returning to school like me. How did you overcome the fear? Share your story—I’d love to hear how you tackled your first day of something new!
Small Town Girl 
I love your story, its a good reminder about how much growth is available by stepping outside your comfort zone.
Here is my similar experience:
I always romanticized college to be this easy fix to my life, like a pill that cured all my insecurities. I envisioned that I would immediately thrive and be fulfilled. This was not the case. I felt very out of place and alone day 1…then day 100. I made a lot of mistakes trying to make sure I could belong, trying to find my identity. The issue was not the place it’s self but rather relying on the external world to cure my internal pains. I am now a Junior, and I slowly but surely formed amazing relationships and built a piece of this place that feels a bit like a new home. I recognize now how important it is that my first year was so bleak because it made me recognize how little faith in myself I carried. My self love was intensely conditional. My goal is to remember that worthiness and belonging can only be experienced from within.
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