My husband would tell you—100%, hands down—my judgment is spot on. Give me the first 30 minutes of meeting someone (a real conversation, not just a quick hello in passing), and I can usually tell you whether they’re worthy.

And before you picture me sitting in a corner with a clipboard, rating humans like a talent show judge… let me explain what I mean by “worthy,” because it’s not about someone being perfect, polished, or impressive.

I’m talking about the kind of person who’s safe to let into your life.

The kind of person who’s honest when it would be easier to bend the truth.
The kind of person who speaks to others with respect, even when nobody’s watching.
The kind of person who doesn’t drain you, use you, or make you question your own reality.

Some people call it intuition. Some call it discernment. Where I’m from, we call it “reading the room,” and it’s a skill you earn—one experience at a time.

Why I trust my judgment

I didn’t wake up one day magically able to spot character. Life taught me.

You learn a lot about people when:

• you’ve been disappointed by someone you trusted,
• you’ve seen kindness used as a weakness,
• you’ve watched someone smile to your face and switch up the moment you walk away.

Eventually, you start noticing patterns. And once you notice them, you can’t unsee them.

What I’m actually paying attention to in those first 30 minutes

It’s not the outfit, the job title, or how “nice” they are at first. Most people can be charming for a short amount of time.

I’m listening for the tiny tells:

• Do they talk more about people or about ideas?
• Are they curious, or are they performing?
• Do they speak with humility, or do they constantly bring the conversation back to themselves?
• How do they talk about the people who can’t do anything for them?

Because character always leaks. It shows up in the “small” moments. The throwaway comments. The little jokes that aren’t really jokes. The way they explain a conflict. The way they treat a waitress, a coworker, a child, a stranger.

“Worthy” doesn’t mean flawless

Let me say this clearly: I’m not looking for perfection.

Worthy people can be awkward. They can be quiet. They can have rough edges. They can even have a past.

But they’re consistent. They’re accountable. They don’t make excuses for bad behavior. And they don’t expect everyone else to carry the emotional load while they coast through relationships doing the bare minimum.

The truth: I’ve been right more than I’ve been wrong

Have I ever misread someone? Of course. We’re human.

But more often than not, the “hmm… something’s off” feeling ends up making sense later. Maybe it’s a story that doesn’t add up. Maybe it’s a pattern of disrespect. Maybe it’s a slow reveal of manipulation dressed up as confidence.

And if you’ve ever ignored that feeling—if you’ve ever given someone chance after chance while your gut kept whispering, This isn’t right—you already know what I’m talking about.

So here’s my question for you…

Are you a good judge of character?

Have you ever known within minutes that someone wasn’t who they claimed to be? Or the opposite—have you met someone and instantly felt safe?

I want to hear your stories, because I truly believe this: learning to recognize character isn’t about being harsh. It’s about protecting your peace.

And in a world where everyone wants access to you—your time, your energy, your attention—being able to tell who’s worthy is not a bad thing.

It’s wisdom.